Enough

When I was young, I lived in a very chaotic environment. I became very sensitive to the moods of those around me.  My desire to be loved was strong, so I adjusted my behavior depending on those moods.  I became a people pleaser who felt that I needed to justify my value to be accepted.

As a believer, I adopted the same behaviors, thinking that I needed to justify my worth to God.  I did things to stay in His good graces, not because He was so gracious, but because I didn’t want to get into trouble. I didn’t want God to be mad at me.

Over time, through being in His word and prayer, I have learned more about God’s character. This has allowed me to let go of the thoughts that told me God’s love was conditional, just like the people in my life, and replace them with the truth of God’s word. 

Here are a few things I know to be true.

• God’s grace is a gift for us to receive. We can’t do anything to earn our salvation. We have been given this gift out of the abundance of God’s love. 

“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,  not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” Ephesians 2:8-9

• God does not withhold his love because of what happened before I knew Him or anything that may come. 

“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39

• God loves us because it’s who He is, not anything that we’ve done.  The truth is, we could never measure up on our own.  

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved” Ephesians 2:4-5 

Embracing these truths has changed the way I think. I no longer have to scan the room to gauge if I am "enough," because I am finally beginning to understand that I am held by a love that doesn't fluctuate with my performance. The weight of people-pleasing is being replaced by the lightness of being a child of God, fully known and deeply cherished. 

If you have spent your life trying to earn your place or justify your value, I hope you find the same freedom in knowing that you don’t have to work for a gift that has already been given. You are not loved because of what you do; you are loved because of whose you are.