Words Matter

There is an activity done with school-aged children to teach them that what we say matters and we must choose our words carefully. They’re told to squeeze a bunch of toothpaste out of the tube and then put it back in the tube. The children quickly learned that once the toothpaste is out of the tube, you can’t put it back in. In the same way, words can’t be unsaid, and harmful ones, even when we apologize, can leave a scar.

I wasn’t aware of the toothpaste tub activity until I was in my 40’s, but I definitely could have used it when I was young.

I have always had opinions and have not been afraid to share them. It was my duty to tell the people in my life how to live because they were doing it wrong. Over the course of my life, I have seen those shared opinions break down and even break up relationships that were important to me. I was definitely wise in my own eyes. Proverbs 26:12 tells us “Do you see a man who is wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him.”

I had another experience where I was hurt by the words and actions of someone I was close to. I shared that information with a friend in common, feeling totally justified because I was hurt and it was my story to tell. I definitely did not think it was gossip or that I was being perverse. Proverbs 16:28 says “A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.” Not only did my friendship end with the person who hurt me, but the other friendship was fractured because of what I shared.

In the bible study on Proverbs, The Way of Wisdom, perverse speech and gossip are defined as follows.

Perverse speech - words that distort truth or reality

Gossip - bearing bad news behind someone’s back out of a bad heart; revealing a secret.

Our experiences are subjective, and while we may not mean to distort the truth when we are hurt, we tend to villainize the person who hurt us and diminish our role in the situation.

There was a study that said we use 16,000 words per day. I just shared a couple of examples of where I did not use those words wisely. I know there have been many more times when my words lacked wisdom.

Not only do we use a lot of words, but they are very powerful. That is why we are told to think before we speak. We really need God’s wisdom in our words. I know I do.

James 1:5 tells us “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” Let’s ask God, who gives wisdom generously to all who ask, to give us wisdom when we speak.